Taking Care of Mom (and Dad)
Gretchen Heuring | 02.03.09
This change seems to come out of the blue. It happened to our parents and to their parents but still, we are not ready when it happens to us. There is a shift in relationship and they need us to take care of them.
Often there is denial. The elders will not admit that they need help, and we can't seem to find a way to make room for their needs in our lives. We all go on like this for awhile but Truth has a way of showing up.
Usually the change begins with an illness or injury and we discover that mom (or dad) is really too frail go on without regular assistance from a younger, stronger person. Older parents almost never ask for help. There are ways to deal with this problem and resources to help.
How to Talk to Mom or Dad About Needing Help
Talking to older parents about help for them can be challenging to say the least. Dr. Lois M. Abrams has written a simple but very helpful guide. In it, she reminds us to work hard to uphold our parent's dignity during this process. She then suggests words that are most likely to be effective. >>Download Dr. Abrams' guide
Another useful guide is written by Carol L. Rosenblatt, who is both a Registered Nurse and an attorney. She stresses developing a plan for the conversation. >> More
In-home Care
During the past few years, there had been increasing focus on keeping older people in their own homes as long as possible. The best reason: they live longer and better. The next best reason: it's much less expensive.
We live longer and better in an independent setting because we are happy. We can follow our own daily patterns, we manage our own lives.
Resources for Help In the Home
There are resources for all kinds of help in the home if we get sick or become frail. These include free support services from volunteers and other community resources and modestly priced help as well. Services include transportation, shopping, meals, home repairs, housekeeping, and friendly visitors. >> More
Useful products are available too including bathtub lifts, picker-uppers, magnifiers, and lots more. Browse through the products to get ideas for helping older people stay in their homes. >> More
Moving Older Parents
Like it or not, the day may come when older family members need to move from their home. Perhaps they are moving in with you or another relative. Maybe the move is to a smaller, more manageable home, or to assisted living. Or the necessary choice could be a nursing care facility for short or long-term care.
Remember that you are not alone. There are thousands of people like you struggling with the same issues. I have assembled some resources. I'm sure there are many more but this list will get you started. >> More
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